BDSM 101: Temperature Play - the ins and outs of hot and cold

Starting Out -

BDSM 101: Temperature Play - the ins and outs of hot and cold

(Original articles from https://es.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/temperature-play-with-cold and https://es.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/temperature-play-with-heat)

WHY PLAY WITH COLD?


The same reason we tinker with heat – we play with the body’s neuroreceptors to cause arousal. 

It’s especially fun to combine them in unpredictable ways, which can be enjoyable for anyone on any end of the kink scale. Add other forms of BDSM practices (like sensory deprivation), and you have a sure-fire equation for an unforgettable night.   

WHERE SHOULD YOU ADD COLD?


Anywhere really. I can’t think of anywhere that would be off limits (except the eyeballs!). Erogenous zones are great targets but there are a few exceptions when it comes to safety.  

WHAT CAN YOU USE?


1. ICE CUBES – This is what you probably think of when it comes to tingly temperature play. Running a cube along your partner’s skin can be quite pleasurable (especially if you’re already hot from foreplay).  

SAFETY – Ever stick your tongue to something frozen? Well, think of that but on other parts of the body. Never use ice straight out of the freezer. Let it melt a bowl for a few minutes until it’s slick and smooth. 
Also, some people like to stick it up the bum or vagoo...
But did you know that ice can sometimes melt into sharp edges? It can also cause damage if left against the skin for too long (even longer than 5 minutes can be bad). The internal membranes of the body are quite delicate. I would stay with external use. 

2. SEX TOYS – Sticking your (non-electric) metal, glass, ceramic, or porcelain sex toys a bowl of ice water can recreate the same sensations as ice cubes, but WAY safer. 

SAFETY – Some people suggest leaving your sex toys in the freezer, but that should be left for more experienced people who know their preferences and limits (e.g. metal sex toys take on and retain temperatures like crazy!) A bowl of ice water will do the trick just fine. 

3. COLD IN THE BATHROOM – A cool bath or shower will make people squeal. Nice after you’ve worked up a sweat. 

4. SWEET TREATS – Ice cream or popsicles can make your skin tingle, but they also play with the sense of taste. Run any cold foods along the skin and lick it up after! HOWEVER … Never put sweet things near the vagina. It could trigger a yeast infection. 

5. WEATHER – Mother nature can be the biggest Domme. Wait until she drops some snow … and then drop your partner in a fluffy drift.  

If you're going to do some sexy polar bear dipping, you stay in for literally SECONDS. No more. 

SAFETY - Keep these antics to only a couple minutes, otherwise you risk exposure or hypothermia. After, get inside pronto and warm up. Also, don’t do this if there’s any wind chill or very low temperatures. 

6. MEDICINAL THINGS – Cooling rubs for joints or aching muscles, menthol creams, cooling itch lotions, after sun gels etc.  No prescription stuff though, just over the counter. Don’t forget to read the safety tips provided with the product. 

7. TINGLE GEL – There are sex-oriented products that are specifically made for cold temperature play. Some are strictly for external use, some (like cooling lubricants) can be used internally. 

8. COOLING MASSAGE OILS – Cool down your lotions and oils in a bowl of ice water and THEN apply. So much fun. Or, you can buy the same thing but with a cooling agent added. 

 

OTHER WAYS TO STAY SAFE


 

  • Tingling, burning, or other discomfort could be signs of frost bite or other problems. 
  • Cold dulls our reactions to pain – meaning if something is hurting your partner, they might not be able to identify it as normal. 
  • For these reasons, any exposure to cold should be brief and monitored carefully. 
  • Don’t forget the aftercare! It doesn’t matter if you’ve used ice cubes for the first time, or you’ve made your long-term sub do the jig in your walk-in freezer. 
  • Always have a talk afterwards while wrapped in a blanket or housecoat and sipping on water. Discuss what you liked or didn’t like and how you would do things different for future encounters. 

HEAT

When the weather turns cold, the snow starts to pile up, and the blankets just aren’t enough, try adding some extra heat to the bedroom in the form of… 

Temperature play! 

Specifically heat play.

  

TEMPERATURE PLAY FOR BEGINNERS


 

BEING SAFE 

Obviously, this is a kink that can go as mild or as intense as you want. BUT, no matter what, you need to do your research ahead of time – read, find masters, test, try things slowly, practice. 

Your goal is to create a temperature difference and maybe a nice red blush to the skin. You don’t want to cause blisters, burns, or scars. And, if you can’t take it on your own body, you shouldn’t be doing it on someone else’s. 

And, DON’T FORGET YOUR SAFE WORD (verbal and non-verbal if you’re using a ball gag etc.).

After that, there’s the essential aftercare – A body check, cooling packs, a fan, aloe, a warm blanket or housecoat, chocolate, water, cuddles, discussions, and praise.

 

11 KINDS OF HEAT PLAY


 

SEX TOYS – Putting glass, stainless steel, ceramic, or porcelain sex toys in very warm water will heat up the material and make using them an entirely different, yet pleasurable, experience. 

Besides dildos, butt plugs, prostate massagers, you can try chastity cages, urethral sounds, knives, and medical role play equipment. 

SWEET SAUCES – Heating chocolate or caramel syrup for a few seconds (making sure it’s not too hot for the skin), is a great baby step if you’re not ready or wanting things like wax play. There’s also the benefit of an added taste dynamic. 

HOT SAUCES – Spice will definitely kick some ass. It can be quite pleasurable for some, BUT it can also cause chemical burns to sensitive skin (especially around thin membranes like around/in the genitals). It goes without saying that the hotter the sauce, the higher the heat. 

Always start with a mild heat and do a spot test for allergies. Slowly build your way up until you find the brand and heat leave that meets your sweet spot. After that, use common sense – like not putting it around the eyes etc.

 

MASSAGE OILS – Some are specifically designed to heat up when you start working with them or blowing on them. 

HEATING LUBE – There are lubes designed to heat up when in use. Do a spot test first because some people can be allergic to it or it can cause yeast infections for some women. 

HOT WATER WARMING – Take any regular lube, lotion, or massage oil and keep it in a bowl of very warm water for a few minutes to bring up the heat. This way you can stick to products you trust while still partaking in temperature play. 

MEDICATED RUBS – Careful, these can get REALLY hot and uncomfortable for some people. Always do a spot test and see how you react for a couple of hours. 

MELTED WAX – When it comes to temperature kinks, wax play is an oldie but a goodie. Take care though, it’s not something to jump into if you haven’t done your research! 

CUPPING – Have you ever seen those glass bulbs they use in Chinese medicine that suck up part of the skin/flesh and leave a round bruise after? That’s cupping. It’s temperature play because it involves using heat to create the vacuum. Don’t do this without instruction and practice!! 

FIRE PLAY – This is considered edge play (which means it’s on the dangerous side of kink). It requires a lot of research, practice, and preparation to do safely. 

THE SHOWER – Yep, shower or bathtub sex might seem like old hat sex, but technically, it’s temperature play (especially if you turn on the opposite temperature for a moment to shock your partner). 

 

WAYS TO ENHANCE TEMP PLAY


 

Any other kink can be added to your shenanigans. Blindfolds, restraints, balls gags, vacuum beds, other sex toys (magic wands are fantastic), a candlelit room, silk sheets, you name it. Add or take away other sensory inputs to change the game.


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