BDSM 101: Paddles (how to choose and use a paddle)

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BDSM 101: Paddles (how to choose and use a paddle)

How to choose a paddle

(original article from https://www.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/bdsm-paddle)

BDSM paddles are often found in most beginner kink kits – but these are the dime-a-dozen ones. There’s SO much out there; different materials, styles, and designs. There will be something for everyone. 

But if you’re new to paddles or are looking to expand your collection, here’s a quick rundown of how to decide on which model is best for you and your partner(s). 

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KNOW YOUR BUDGET


 

Like with any purchase, you need to know how much you are able to spend. For example, you might drool over the handcrafted cherry wood paddle, but your wallet will only let you get the plastic one. 

The good news is that your main goal of paddle play is = “the sensation”, not just how it looks – so if you want something that will sting like a million bees or goes deep into the muscles, you don’t have to spend a lot to get it. 

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DECIDE ON THE SENSATION


There are two sensations that come with impact play – “stingy” and “thuddy”. Stings are felt on/across the surface of the skin. Thuds go deeper into the tissue. 

Paddles are generally thuddy tools, BUT you can get ones that sting. 

How do you know what you’re getting? 

Remember this… 

  • STING = smaller, narrow, light, flexible
  • THUD = Larger, heavy, rigid 

After that, you need to factor in the materials – which will further alter what your toy feels like… 

 

DECIDE ON THE MATERIALS


 Fur Spanking Paddle Black White Red Purple BDSM Impact Play Spanking Fetish

 

ACRYLIC & PERSPEX – It’s like plastic (but not) and will deliver an intense sting. Sensations can also vary depending on flexibility, thickness, and density. 

BAMBOO – Lightweight and easy to wield, but it can hurt (sting) a lot! 

FUR – The core of the paddle will be something firmer (often plastic or layers of fake leather) but the outside will be wrapped, soft, and gentle. Great for warmups or beginners. 

GLASS – It might seem intimidating, but a well-made glass paddle (or any adult product for that matter) will not break. Just make sure there are no weak points in its construction or severe stress points within the glass.

 

KEVLAR – Yes, the stuff in bulletproof vests. It’s got little to no shock absorbency, so it will sting, Sting, STING! However, it’s not a common material and will be more expensive than most other paddles. You might also be able to find ones in Carbon Fiber (which is similar to Kevlar, at least in BDSM uses). 

LEATHER – Considered a traditional BDSM material. If it is wood (or other hard materials) wrapped in leather, it will be more thuddy. Paddle makers do this either to save on cost or create something that offers different sensations than pure leather. 

LEXAN – It’s like a tougher, and more expensive, version of acrylic. It can also be bought in different grades of flexibility and density – for example, it can sometimes be used as bullet-resistant glass. 

PLASTIC – A lower density compared to other materials and can sting like a bitch. 

RUBBER – Not for beginners or the faint of heart. It’s generally a thuddy tool, but one that can deliver a great amount of pain (and, if you don’t know what you’re doing, damage). 

SILICONE – Smooth and soft but very stingy. It’s also very easy to clean/sterilize – which makes it a good option if you’re going to a dungeon or playing with multiple partners. 

STAINLESS STEEL – Ridged and VERY hard, as well as dense. Can be incredibly painful. Not for beginners. 

WOOD – Different kinds of wood will have different densities, and therefore different levels of shock absorption. Some woods are also selected for their appearance. Combined with carving and staining/painting, there are unlimited choices. 

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EXAMPLES


 

Large, round, rigid, bamboo – Most of these elements would give you something thuddy, but bamboo is a very light, stingy material. So, if (1) was a complete sting and (10) was the deepest thud, we would land somewhere around a 6/7 with a mix of sensations. 

Thin, wood, with holes – Wood absorbs shock, so you can get deep thuds. But the thinness will add more sting. Plus, the holes allow for faster strikes with less air resistance. 

Stainless steel, round, thick – Like a thud level of (10). This combo is also a dangerous one because it can do considerable damage in the wrong hands. 

 

ADDED ELEMENTS


On top of the material and shape, there are other things that can make your paddle unique. 

  • HOLES – Easier to wield and hits harder. 
  • WORDS/NAMES – The Top or bottom’s name/title, slut, XOXO, etc. 
  • IMAGES – Engraved or burnt images within the material. 
  • WRIST BANDS – Safer to hold but can be a bit clumsy. 
  • SPIKES – Tiny vampire spikes or larger, metal nobs. 
  • SHOCKING BITS – Some paddles can be electro-shock. 
  • EXTRA PIECES – Extra layers of the paddle material can add an extra “slap” or heavier strike. 
  • TEXTURES – Whether cut into the paddle or extra material glued on the surface, found one that had rope woven through the paddle.

 

There’s MUCH more beyond this – I’ve seen ones with sparkles even. So, take your time, do your research and find one that you love! Also, if you are really strapped for cash, there’s plenty around your home that will do in a pinch – as long as it’s flat, larger, and firm.

How to use a paddle

(Original article from https://www.uberkinky.co.uk/essential-guides/impact-play-guides/beginners-guide-to-paddling.html)

We know that we’re in no position to dictate how your spanking scene will play out. However, we like to think that because of our vast experience, you’ll at least take some of our advice.

When it comes to positions, there’s certainly no shortage of options. If you haven’t already, take a look at our Beginner’s Guide to Spanking for a full breakdown. Paddling can be enjoyed in almost every position you can think of, however the optimum stance, particularly if you’re into humiliation play, is OTK (over the knee). Other UberKinky favourites include bent over, lying down and doggy style. However, when using a long instrument it is always best to adopt a standing position.

Because of the deep pain commonly associated with paddling, sometimes people opt to lie down instead of bending. Not only is this much more relaxing, it provides extra protection against those hard hits. For bottoms that aren’t carrying a lot of extra weight, lying down is the preferable choice. When bending over, the muscle and skin is stretched, and for those of us that lack extra padding this could result in irritation of the sciatic nerve.

Before you make your decision, first think about where your ‘sweet spot’ is. It probably comes as no surprise that the most popular paddling place is on the buttocks, which is certainly a firm favourite here at UberKinky. However, with care you can also give some well deserved attention to the inner and back of the thighs, genitals and breasts.

Spanking Anatomy

Techniques

There’ll be no bowman shouting orders to help you out here! That’s why it’s important to master all of your techniques prior to playtime.

To some extent, it is possible to control the intensity and the sensations that the bottom will encounter. However, paddles will always be somewhat ‘thuddier’ than many other spanking implements. Try lifting immediately after impact for more of a ‘sting’, or press down for a deeper ‘thud’. This is unlikely to make a huge impact on the sensation delivered, however, the choice of tool certainly will. Why not try alternating between two different paddles for a sting vs. thud technique? Not only does this give the bottom some much needed rest when one of the sensations becomes too much, it will also keep them floating off into subspace. The perfect punishment!

Another technique ideal for punishment is counting. Some Tops like to enhance the sadistic nature of their play by forcing the bottom to count each individual spanking. This generally involves counting aloud as the paddling takes place. Again, this forces the bottom to remain in a conscious state, with their sole point of focus being the pain.

Now, how do you plan to bring your bottom back to reality if they do end up drifting off into subspace? Well, this is also a very important technique to master. It’s essential that you help them to come to terms with the idea that their paddling will soon be over. This can be achieved in a number of different ways. Some Tops will allow their bottom to pick a number between one and twenty, advising them that this is the number of spankings that will remain. Others will simply dictate a number, or ask their bottom to signal in some way when they are happy for the scene to end.

So, if you’re ready to make a splash in your after hours activities, be sure to get practising!


Paddle Care

It’s hardly a stroke of genius, but we’ll tell you anyway; for optimum results, paddles need to be cared for!

Unlike many other spanking tools, paddles are relatively easy to clean. Simply wipe down with hot soapy water after each use, or sterilize using antibacterial toy cleaner or alcohol swabs. Avoid fully submerging it in water as it could affect the rigidity and feel of the material over time. Many (if not all) paddles are constructed from porous materials, so we would advise against sharing with multiple partners. Although the majority of paddles are unlikely to draw blood, we would always recommend that you err on the side of caution.

A little extra care and attention is required for wooden paddles with a finish. All it takes is a little dab of mineral oil now and then to preserve the look and feel. If your wooden toy is unfinished, simply wipe down with a damp cloth.

Leather can be treated with a conditioner, but be sure to test for discolouration on a small patch beforehand.

Remember; clean toys make for dirty fun ;)


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